A 7 step process to become your own emotional alchemist
Hi gorgeous,
I want to tell you a story. This morning I sat down ready to write my weekly email to you beautiful folks – I’d listened to my daily visualisation, done my fair amount of dancing around to some super high vibe Amanda Frances (track 114 of her podcast), taken the dog for a walk (and the cat who bravely joined us) and drank my celery juice…I was all set.
Apart from, I wasn’t.
My heart felt heavy. Tbh, my whole body felt heavy.
My mind kicked in, overriding this important bodily feedback information and instead barking at me: “you’ve done all the things, you’re fine, focus, you’ve got loads of stuff to get done today.”
I wrote out the long to do list from my mind, hoping inspiration would pull me to one of the items of the list.
Still, nothing…just that pervading heaviness.
I faffed about a bit and then surrendered to (what a part of me knew was my sneakiest form of procrastination) – procrasti-learning. I re-read each of the gates of my Human Design. Cross-referencing each gate with the Astrology sign, my Gene Keys reading and Incarnation Cross statement. I learnt some new symbols. I celebrated some of my gifts (17- seer, 22 – grace, 21- natural CEO, 44 – depth/wisdom, 3 – innovation, 45 – the crown, 56 - storyteller), lamented some of my challenges (26 - trickster energy, 6 – overcoming conflict, 41 – the restless desire for more conflicting with my 5 – a need for steadiness and rhythm).
I looked at the clock. It had taken a good 90 minutes, maybe even two hours.
I took a breath in…the heaviness still remained.
I heard a brilliant statement of my friend whispered in my ear “are you feeling your feels?” – it was a line that made me giggle when I heard it in her latest (and quite brilliant) emotional first aid workshop.
I asked myself the same question, this time opening up to being more honest with myself: “was I feeling my feelings?”
[Had I truly sat and been present with myself today? Not ‘doing’, but just ‘being.’…taking the time to witness, to listen?]
I knew the answer. It was definite “no.”
Despite my awareness - from the moment that I had sat in front of my computer - that something *within* needed tending to [that heavy sensation in my body], I had ignore it. Repressed it and overriding it with my mind’s desire to try “do more” instead.
Silly. Sneaky. Subtle.
It can be soooo easy and tempting for us to ignore these harder, heavier feelings, especially because:
Many of us, we’ve been heavily conditioned to repress certain emotions we believe to be “bad” “inconvenient” “scary” or “wrong.”
Many of us were taught to just “get on with it” or (my grandma’s fave) “buckle up” or “buck up” or “calm down” or “stop being sensitive.”
Many of us have no idea how to meet with, let alone release or shift these feelings (do not fear, I’m going to be sharing my exact emotional alchemy method below).
Simply put, we were actively discouraged from and resultantly never taught how to feel hard feelings.
Generally, as a global society, many of us have become trapped in this dualistic illusion of feelings being ‘good’ or ‘bad.’
We celebrate and grasp after the so called *good* feeling emotions, like:
joy, happiness, love, bliss, excitement, enthusiasm.
Whilst repressing, suppressing and avoiding the so called *bad* feeling emotions, like:
sadness, grief, regret, guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, worry, confusion, overwhelm etc. >> Rewind back to my story…and what I led myself through
[STEP 1: AWARENESS]
I had caught myself in avoidance.
[STEP 2: STOP AND DROP INTO THE BODY]
I took a deep breath and walked over the couch. I sat myself down and put my hand on my heart. I breathed into my heart, imagining myself/awareness descending into her chambers, to the parts where I could feel the heaviness. With the intention to be present with whatever I found there.
[STEP 3: ALLOW THE EMOTIONS TO BE FELT]
Instantly the tears began to fall. There was no story, no reason…just the release. I allowed it, I held the compassionate space for myself, to let these feelings come up and out.
[STEP 4: STAY PRESENT, USE YOUR BREATH AS AN ANCHOR]
I continued to breathe slowly and deeply for about 5-10minutes.
[STEP 5: HEALING & INTEGRATION]
This is optional and sometimes we can benefit from someone supporting us with this stage
I then asked myself what parts (sub-personalities or aspects of myself) needed to be seen or heard. The information came through quickly and clearly. I was meeting with my 2 yr old, 6 yr old and 21 yr old. They each had fears, pain and stories that they needed to have heard and understood. They were each trying to look out for me.
I followed the same interview and healing script I use with clients, which are simple but powerful questions
“Are you okay?”
“What do you need or want?”
“What do you want to tell me/what do I need to know?”
I usually following this interview with the Ho’oponopono prayer – adding in additional info. as I feel to:
“I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you.”
Sometimes I go deeper, calling in the spiritual support of my higher self, healing team or angelic guides to bring healing to this part, to help it mature and integrate into my being. Sometimes my connection and conversation is enough.
[STEP 6: RECEIVE MORE LOVE & LIGHT]
I channelled more love into and through my heart until I felt a deep sense of peace, lightness and joy return.
Opening my eyes I felt soo much lighter, as though someone had reached inside me and pulled out a heavy weight from my heard and solar plexus.
[STEP 7: TAKE ALIGNED, INSPIRED ACTION]
I asked my guides what work I needed to do today and I asked my higher self what work I would like to do today.
One was write this blog post. The other was complete my submission for my book agent.
In Summary - It still blows my mind how simple but profound this work is.
The parts that had been blocking my way had just been scared – of getting it wrong, of being vulnerable.
When we move forward or grow rapidly, we can often miss bringing all parts of ourselves along with us. We need all parts of ourselves, they all offer us valuable opinion and information.
Tending to the universe within us before attempting to create the universe outside us can lead to mis-alignment and aspects of the shadow’s light coming out sideways – as self-sabotage!
>> Emotional Support System<<
When working with our emotions, it can realllly help to use emotional support in the form of flower essences (like Elm for overwhelm or Rescue Remedy) and essential oils (like lavender for calming). I use and recommend specific oils and essences with all of my 1:1 clients. Even tallying specific essences up with soul plan challenge energies (it’s fascinating!)
My dear friends Aly and Leila recently led a fab workshop going into more detail and context about flower essences and essential oils the recording of which I believe is still available
>>What if…it could be different<<
What if… we could look at our shadows or wounded parts without a judgemental or dualistic lens?
What if…we could accept and remember that every aspect/part of ourselves is divine and needed for what we came here to do, be and have?
What if…we could take the time to tend to our inner world each day through “being” present, before we attempted to tend to our outer world through “doing” and taking [potentially mis-aligned action where we will face resistance].
>>My mantra<<
I have a framed quote next to my bed it reads:
“You gotta go inward to experience the outer space that was built for you.”
[Full disclosure, it’s also by Pharell Williams, who sung “Happy” soo, yeah ] Some days I remember THIS TRUTH - TO GO INWARD FIRST, TO ALIGN FIRST. Some days I forget.
It’s all a learning and it’s all a process. I am getting muchHHH better at staying connected to, honouring and listening to the cues of my body’s intelligence (which after all is an encoded piece of technology of the soul, living in the now) over the insistence of the egoic mind (which tricks us with fear/lack/urgency/regret etc. of the past or future). I’ve heard it explained, that to transcend duality - the false programming of an emotion being either good or bad we must remember that - an EMOTION SIMPLY IS (thank you Leila for that genius wisdom!)
>>What is an EMOTION?<<
It IS energy in motion…sent to transform us somehow. It IS a sacred messenger, encoded with a gift should we take the time to receive it. It IS a gift – always, presented in ALL WAYS.
So my invitation to you today is to ask yourself “have I been present with myself today?”
And if the answer is no, just take a moment, take a breath, ask yourself the most important question: “how am I feeling” and be present with whatever arises. Presence: The gift you can always give yourself. Ooo and finally, let me know, how the steps above work for you. If you’re needing some support with steps 5-7 to shift some deeper emotions, get in touch for ways to work with me Xxx
P.s. This post was inspired by the wonderful Aly and Leila – and my own emotions ;)
As always, sending a wave of love to you 🌊💕
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